One of the books I've been reading in between basketball games is "The Five Love Languages - Men's Edition" by Gary Bloom. Being 19 years into a great marriage, I find it's always helpful to learn as much as possible about making my wife happy - a lifetime learning goal. This book talks about expressing yourself to your spouse in a way they understand. Go figure. For example, if your language is words of affirmation but your spouse's language is quality time, there may be some trouble in the communication. The goal is talking in THEIR language.
I think professional relationships at work fall under the same principles. Each one of us responds to a different work language. If your manager or peer is talking one language, let's say - the language of being vague but your language is "the language of be direct and to the point" you are just not going to have an effective relationship with your manager or your peer. So what language to do you respond to best? Here are a few to ponder but only you can determine what works for you.
Think about it and I offer this challenge to you. Next time you meet with your manager, tell him or her your language. You may be surprised to find that once you do, they can start supporting you in a way that you understand. You may find that several of these fit your needs. It's OK to have more than one.
- Language of Attention
- Language of Listening
- Language of Advice
- Language of "Let me be"
- Language of Challenge
- Language of Recognition
- Language of Support
- Language of Understanding
- ... and so many others
I wish each of you success in all the challenges you face this week!
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